In you I see my hidden shadow

How easy it is for me to criticize you. I am very accustomed to doing so. I do it with everyone else too. It doesn't matter if it's my partner, a family member, a friend, or a stranger. And if any of them escape my judgment, it's because, for the moment, they are meeting my expectations. However, as soon as they fail to do what I want, they become the target of my fiercest criticism.
 
When I watch the news, I vent my feelings on everyone. I point my accusing finger at them and criticize them openly. And how good I feel after telling them, or thinking, how badly they are behaving. They say that if the news isn't bad, it's not news. That's why we like watching it so much, to fuel our fear and judgment.
 
When I watch a movie, there has to be a villain. Someone to blame, and if possible, someone who ends up getting their comeuppance, so that justice is served.
 
I spend most of my life choosing the ego, the wrong teacher, who desperately seeks fault in others, when it is my own unconscious fault that I find
What I am really seeing in the world is the movie projected from within me. And when I choose the ego, as usually happens, the script is one of criticism and judgment of others, which leads me to fear. And this happens because, from the depths of my Being, from my center, from my wise and loving mind, which is my essence, I know that that person is innocent, so when I attack them with my judgments, my unconscious guilt increases and sooner or later, they will defend themselves with attacks on me, which makes me feel even more afraid. It is an unconscious mechanism that goes unnoticed by me.
 
When I judge someone, I enter into the egoic euphoria of feeling good about myself. What I ignore is that those arrows I have thrown will come back at me, which will lead to suffering.

What can I do to escape suffering?
 
I am in the ego if I suffer, or if I am afraid, or if I go through any situation or thought that does not bring me peace. I realize that, once again, I have chosen the ego. That's okay, I accept it and become aware of it.
s soon as possible, I will ask my Being to see it differently, even if the situation remains the same. I am asking for another interpretation, another script for the movie. That person acts that way toward me because they are suffering. It is how their ego manifests itself.

My Being's response will come, when appropriate, in the form of peace. An indescribable feeling that will make me understand that the other person, like me, is innocent and is also suffering. The thought may come to me, “It's not that big a deal, don't make such a fuss about it.”
 
It is said that people who are wrongly called “toxic” are our great teachers because their behavior brings out in us the wrong mind, the dark side, the swamp of unconscious guilt that feeds the ego. Thanks to them, we will become aware of how bad we still are inside and what we still need to heal in order to continue on our path toward Love.

Focus on your new life

You know you're unhappy and suffering. It's becoming difficult to continue in this relationship. You've been living in a situation that, metaphorically speaking, has gone rotten for a long time. You used to tolerate their mistakes, but now you don't let them get away with anything. The mutual recriminations are constant. Or the prolonged silences give rise to a sad coexistence. Love has turned into indifference, or even hatred.
 
You ask yourself the million-dollar question: Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person? Your heart's answer is no, and you know it. You sense that, sooner or later, you will each go your separate ways. Since you don't feel capable of making the decision to end the relationship, you deceive yourself by hoping that your partner will get tired of it and leave you.
 
You are like a prisoner whose cell door has been opened for him to leave, but who prefers to stay inside for fear of freedom.
 
You don't take the step because of your mental barriers. Stop and think about the reasons that prevent you from following another path. You will have your justification for each of them. Dig a little deeper and you will see that they are nothing more than excuses resulting from deep-rooted beliefs. Deep down, it is fear of change.
One of your biggest obstacles may be loneliness. Don't be afraid of it. You will benefit from some time to reflect. Don't fall into the trap of judging others, as it will get you nowhere. You ask yourself: with whom will I share my life? The answer, for now, is with yourself. Learn to love yourself. Be kind to your mistakes, because in those situations you acted as best you knew how. Value yourself for what you have done and look forward to what you will be able to experience.
 
Separation can also mean losing family relationships and friendships. Don't worry, because the people who truly appreciate you for who you are will remain by your side.
 
People who have had the courage and determination to take the plunge wonder how they endured so much suffering for so long. Trust and just focus on your new life.

And if, for whatever reason, you decide not to separate to stop suffering, you have to see the relationship in a different way. Don't let what happens outside of you make you lose your inner peace. And you will achieve this by surrendering every situation or unloving thought to your Being, your essence, your wisest and most luminous part, which will help you understand that your partner acts this way out of fear. Instead of seeing them as someone who is against you, you will pause for a moment and open your heart to feel them as someone who, deep down, is suffering from not being in Love. The new perception that your Being will give you will bring you the peace you need.

Helping others is not the way out

Before taking off, the crew, or a video, gives safety instructions related to the flight. One of them refers to the incident of depressurization, in which there would be a loss of oxygen, requiring passengers to put on their masks in order to continue breathing. And they give a very clear instruction: first we must put on our own mask and then help others.

Obviously, if I can't breathe, I won't be able to help others. The same thing happens in our lives. We have been sold the false idea, which is practically a widespread belief, that the meaning of our lives is to help others, when in reality, in my opinion, the meaning of our lives is to remove each and every layer that we have placed over Love, which is our essence.

If my thinking follows the dictates of the ego, as is often the case, the help I give to others will be guided by the ego, and I will give them false love: “I will take note of what I have done for you, in case I need something one day and you have to return the favor.” This is trading in conditional love. Or, “I have done that for you to prove to myself how good I am and thus accumulate bonus points for when I die and my deeds are taken into account.”
When I give someone advice from my ego, I am actually projecting my fears and needs onto that person. Notice that often when someone, with the best of intentions, gives you advice, they are really verbalizing the advice they want to give themselves.

We live in a world of fear, suffering, and death, in the world of the ego. That is why, before attempting the titanic, absurd, and impossible mission of fixing or improving the world, I must improve my inner condition. As I walk my inner path, transcending the ego and eliminating unconscious guilt, I will clear away the obstacles I place in the way of Love and be more at peace. For me, this is the way out of the dreamlike labyrinth in which we believe we are, the end of the wheel of Samsara of incarnation and reincarnation.

And as I transcend the ego, when I put on the oxygen mask according to the airplane metaphor, I will be able to help others from a place of unconditional Love. I will help them because it will be natural for me to extend the Love that I am in essence.

If in my daily life I see a person who is suffering and I can help them, I will help them. Often, it is enough to smile, make a kind gesture, or have a loving thought of unity with the one who is suffering. Another matter is to focus on helping others as the main goal of my life, since I will forget myself.

Every minute I spend in this life without advancing on my inner path is a minute lost.